Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
