he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
