his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
