i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
