Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
