I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
