Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
