Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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