Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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