Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
