turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
