I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
