if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Apparently you make a good broom.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
