Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize