just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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