omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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