I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
