stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize