watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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