We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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