The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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