your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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