is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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