she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
