Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize