I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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