It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
