Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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