you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
3 2 1 whiskey
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
