I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
