that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
