I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
