Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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