So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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