dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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