i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
