I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
handjob tips. give me some.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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