And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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