The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
