Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
