If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
