I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
