I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am one with the molecules
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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