turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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