He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
