mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
