I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
