Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize