just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
