This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
