i barfeds in our rink
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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