One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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