He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
