Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
