You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
