And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
