i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
