2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
