Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
