I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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