Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
