sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize