he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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