The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Still dying that you shit outside
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
