dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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