Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
