Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize