I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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