the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
