i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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