That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Your penis caused this!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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