so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
