We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
