fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
