Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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