I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
