How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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