There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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